May 31st 8:30AM
A step in the right direction
My county (San Joaquin) has bought two hybrid diesel buses, and will be putting them into use soon. Among the reasons this is a good thing:
- they reduce pollution, about as much as natural-gas fueled buses that we already have
- they don't require special fueling stations like the natural gas fleet
- they reduce some harmful emissions by up to 90 percent
- they're quieter
Those who know me know I have a hybrid Honda Civic, and dig it the most. I recommend these to anyone considering them - they are the anti-SUV, and I don't miss a thing. It drives just like a normal car, except for the gas expense and pollution. Plus, it's more stylish and less geeky than the Toyota Prius. That Toyota's a dork-mobile, and this coming from someone who wanted something geeky, in a cutting-edge, first-on-my-block sort of way.
May 30th 7:10PM
Gimme an 'A'!
Just found out that I earned an 'A' grade in my Conservation of Natural Resources class. Woohoo!!! According to my records, that puts my GPA at a respectable 3.88. Yeah, I got a couple o' B's a while back. My dirty little secret.
Gang taggers strike Yosemite wilderness
Some people just do things that rub me the wrong way. These are some of those people. It hits me where I live that someone would go this far out of their way to fuck up an otherwise beautiful place. It gets so a person feels there no place sacred or safe. It's this type of garbage that makes me want to establish vandal quotas. Tag a building, lose a finger. Man, that sounds like a winning policy.
May 30th 7:57AM
"... And officials didn't want a repeat of the goat deaths arising from the show two years ago. "
Only in my town could this phrase be included in a story about a proposed fireworks display for July fourth. I have to go to work now, but here's the rest of the story.
I love Manteca.
May 29th 6:40PM
A day without blogging is a like a day without sunshine. Slipped again yesterday and didn't post a damn thing. Man, I suck.
While we're at it, yesterday sucked, too. Had a misunderstanding with my boss that I was convinced would result in disciplinary action, but ended up smoothing over like nothing ever happened. Or so it seems. Whatever, man. It's funny, I hate conflict, but love to argue. God must think I'm hilarious, I'm so conflicted.
It's not easy being me, but it's so much fun.
My hero
This guy is just amazing. In the middle of a workday, some construction worker drops everything, saves a kid from a burning building, then goes back to work like it ain't nothin'. This guy is just balls-out, too cool for daylight. I need to buy him a beer.
Perv Patrol
Now this crap has just got to stop. Apparently a bunch of degenerates like to get together at some park out in the boonies and hit each other up for some sweaty, public, anonymous man-lovin'. What's the problem, couldn't afford the gay bar? Jesus. This isn't in my neighborhood, but I used to go fishing and get real bent in the area in which this is going on. Each of these fools must have a home, a room, a shanty, someplace where they can bugger each other without subjecting the hand-washing public to their rump-pumping. Ick.
May 27th 6:40PM
I used to work at this dump. I had some good experiences, some bad. I met my (current) wife there, definitely a plus. Fell and fractured my spine (only a little), that was bad. The owner's lazy, bloodsucking son didn't want to run the joint after his pop got too old, so they just closed it last year, apparently.
Hopefully the new owners make something of it. There's only one pet & pet food store in Manteca right now, and we could use some competition. I've had some customer service lapses at the current one, but overall, it's still better than Manteca Feed ever was.
May 26th 7:29AM
Memorial Day
Many thanks to American Armed Forces, all y'all. For those who have paid in blood for our freedom, we owe you one that cannot be repaid, thank you thank you thank you. For those who served but didn't see combat, thank you for stepping up, sticking your neck out, getting up way too early, and making your own sacrifices to serve your country. We appreciate it.
Stupid humans
I'm embarrassed to share a state or any genetic resemblance to this kid's mother. The article states: "Erma Osborne, 35, of Pomona, Calif., was arrested for investigation of child endangerment and was being held on $100,000 bail." What?? How about attempted murder? What the hell? They've got some video footage from the security cameras in the laundromat, so hopefully something will stick.
May 26th 7:10AM
Jason Blair is a goddamned idiot, and should be shunned and purged from society. This moron has no shame or guilt for his outrageous conduct at the NY Times. He's been quoted as saying "I was either going to kill myself or I was going to kill the journalist persona, so Jayson Blair the human being could live, Jayson Blair the journalist had to die." What a pile of shit. That statement, and him.
Now he's pushing a book deal, tentatively titled: "Burning Down My Master's House." This has got to be the most cynical, unabashed, weak-minded, desperate grab at excusing his behavior and transferring blame. I am completely amazed that this guy doesn't have the good sense and conscience to pitifully crawl under a rock, to resurface a few years down the road, apologizing to every news reader he meets for his ridiculous transgressions. To mock the people he's wronged like this is reprehensible.
Piles of shit.
May 25th 9:58AM
Heh. Kinda left you hanging there at the end of yesterday's post, didn't I? Sorry about that. I wrote all that up, posted it, and then some other stuff broke loose before I could finish, and I had to tend to it. Again, sorry.
New information is coming to light, and the long and short of it is that my Dad is legally accusing my brother of some heavy-duty shit. As things are, I'm not going to specify the accusation, because it's an Ugly Thing. I'm not sure at all that my brother knows what it is he's being accused of, he just knows something's up. My family is completely nuts, and this kind of drama I don't need.
Now I have to navigate some uncomfortable personal decisions without knowing the full story on either "side." Who's right, who's wrong? What do I say to either party? Anything? Sheesh. I have an idea of what to do next, but this isn't the time to mention it, since announcing it would warn affected parties and change their behavior. Like chess. I hate chess, because I'm no good at it. Oh well, some games you have to play, even if you don't want to.
May 24th 6:19PM
Blog
It's like ... wow
Over the last two days, I've learned of one of those situations that forces
a blogger to make a judgment call. A personal issue involving members of
my immediate family, not in a proud or flattering manner.
This is where a person has to draw lines, answer the
questions in his head:
- Do I even mention the subject?
- From what angle do I approach this topic? Do I play up the salacious bits
to enflame the reader, or do I simply and conservatively note just enough
detail to be honest with myself and the reader, and avoid selling out personal
ties for momentary titillation? Who is this blog for, and why?
- How would I want to be treated, and do the people involved deserve to
have their feelings considered?
The answers to these questions present themselves as
I write, and dictate a clear path:
- Well of course I mention the subject. what good is a personal log if you
can't log these events?
- The angle to take is the more conservative one. Making an honest notation
of personal current events without sensationalizing them betrays no one's
trust. The fact is, this blog is here for me more than it is here for you.
That being the case, I have to cover my own ass by preserving much of the
privacy at issue here.
- I'd want to be treated with some respect. Some parties in this mess deserve
that, some much less so.
By performing all this soul searching right up front, I intend to avoid the sense that I'm playing some childish game of "I've got a secret," hinting at juicy personal tidbits while not revealing them, cheaply stringing you along. I'm not fooling you around, reader.
May 23rd 7:20AM
I tried to sell my textbook back to Delta College last night, a pitiful experience. I bought the damn thing for $70.00 (used) a few months ago, and they won't be buying it back. Part of me secretly hoped they wouldn't, because I'm interested in the topic and we didn't cover much more than half of its material, so there's a lot left to learn.
Also, I got some measure of "revenge" against the unfeeling tyrants who devalued my book - I made off with about eight other books, for free! Many students, upon finding out like I did that the school doesn't want to buy back their used textbooks, actually dump them into a box for bottom-feeding scavenging bookworms like myself. And they're free for the taking! This appeals both to my cheap nature and my desire to learn, so I took. I got some good ones - Philosophy, Algebra, German Language, Writing Guide, American History. Ooh, and Business! Plus, I kept my original Environmental Conservation book. I'll be lucky to read through even half of two of them, but they're there if I ever make the time. My life is just the things that happen between reading good books. I hope I'm buried with a couple.
May 22nd 6:15AM
Hey! No entry for yesterday - damn!
This week I finished my one night class for this semester,Conservation of Natural Resources 2, at San Joaquin Delta College. My instructor's name was Dr. Brent Helm. He was not the fruity hippie I expected to see teaching this course. He was (and still is) a hardcore science guy with a wry sense of humor, a passion for his work and a desire to share knowledge. Among the cardboard cutouts that pass for teachers at this institution, he really stands out as a quality individual. He knows his stuff, and if you're there to learn, he'll teach you well; he doesn't put up with a lot of bullshit. As a teacher, I will miss him. Hell, I wonder if he'll adopt me?
Aw gee whiz, I promised myself I wouldn't cry . . . :)
Anyway, that's one more class, one more block of units under the ol' belt, and I actually learned a lot of useful, horizon-broadening information. Here's to goals achieved, and a new influx of free time on Tuesday nights! >clink<
May 20th 3:29PM
I have a secret suspicion that people who install a new roll of toilet paper with the sheets hanging behind the roll (away from the seated user) are actually homosexual, whether they know it or not.
It's true. I can't explain it, it's just how I feel.
May 19th 5:49PM
I had a great weekend. During this great weekend, my wife and I saw the Matrix: Reloaded. I have to admit that my opinion of this sequel is not a sparkling one.
Fair or unfair, this movie has a lot to live up to, and cannot escape being compared to the first installment. Unfortunately, it just doesn't compare, for a few reasons:
The story: The first Matrix, from the very beginning, spun an intricate web with layers of portents. The movie had a secret, and lead you towards it from the start, finally divulging everything it had and setting up the final scenes. The surprise of the premise was a great source of tension. It's secrecy allowed it to avoid the dismantling questions that any new movie paradigm should suffer. Once it was unveiled, it stood on its own quite well enough to ride out the rest of the movie without suffering and fatal logical conundrums.
A strike against this sequel is that it begins with the cat out of the bag, as well as an audience defying it to impress as much as it did before. Although there are some new wrinkles in this second insolent, there are few of them. For the most part, the characters lower their heads and plow through the motions and paths set for it by the precedent. The storyline is for the most part, uninspired.
The dialogue: Most of the web-spinning referred to above was accomplished by the verbal dance around the central truths of the Matrix, a virtual reality designed to keep peoples' minds busy while their bodies were harvested for their heat output. The revelations were peeled back with very compelling and masterful philosophical speeches. It all added up to nothing, but it sounded terrific. In the new Matrix it all adds up to nothing, and sounds like it. The mysticism of Morpheus's beliefs are splashed with the harsh light of reality, and the context that not everyone (actually, damn few) around him believe as he does. In this light, Morpheus's faithful rhetoric does start to disintegrate and begin to sound pretty nutty.
In the first Matrix, the dialogue flirts delicately with the viewer, with coy hints and sly implications of things that may or may not be. In the Matrix: Reloaded, the dialogue simply strides up the the viewer, grabs roughly for her breast, and bites her on the neck. This audience member is offended by the ham-handedness, and is not to be had so easily.
And the Goddamned "Oracle!" Puh-leez. All that utter horseshit about "the choice has been made - now you're trying to understand why you made the choice." Jesus Christ, just shut the hell up, you hack. And stick your candy up your ass, Grandma, you glorified palm-reader. This character was so poorly handled...
The action and effects: Like the first Matrix, the Matrix: Reloaded wields some excellent and impressive visual effects. Unfortunately, these effects actually have a negative effect on the movie, in my opinion. They end up being the end, rather than the means, exhibiting focusing not on what the characters are doing, but how fancily they're doing it.
For example, a fight scene between Neo and dozens of Agent Smiths raises hand-to-hand combat to a new level - of absurdity. We all know that movie folks aren't actually hitting each other, but depending on the level of believability, we buy into it. Watching Keanu Reeves flailing wildly at Hugo Weaving and vice-versa, I am overcome by the silliness of watching two guys pretending to be two video game characters in a make-believe world trying to punch and kick each other, each blocking the other so expertly that rarely does a punch ever land. It's just too much. When they do, it hardly matters - each "blow" lands on its target with the negligible effect of "bonking" its victim and applying its inertia - the good guy and bad guy bounce off each others' fists, alternately whipping the head back or sending the entire body flying, take your pick. If Neo was so nearly-omnipotent, wouldn't he just grab Agent Smith and rip his head off? Why fuck around, slapping him around? He flies through to "world" at will, I would think he could bust a guy's head open with a clean fist to the forehead. But no, they slapfight back & forth until he ends up flying off anyway. Ridiculous!
I didn't hate this movie, but I sure as hell didn't love it.
May 17th 9:07PM
I sit here on my big concrete porch in the front of my suburban, Central-California home and it occurs to me that this could be heaven. Let me try to explain:
I'm trying out a red wine, thoughtfully examining each sip, and I'm not only enjoying the wine. I'm enjoying the purely leisure activity of sipping, swirling and smelling this petite glass.
It's May, and we've had a long, mild, rainy spring that is reluctantly giving up its miserly hold to summer. I'm in the shade with my feet up, thumbing through a Newsweek magazine. Maybe it's the articles about third-world less-fortunates that prompt me to stop, look around and consider just how fortunate I am.
When I look around, I have even more to appreciate: in addition to the temperate weather and my shady spot, it's a quiet day in a fairly moderate neighborhood. Kids are playing. Young families are visiting senior members. More than half of the lots on my block have trees in their front yards, which yield subtle but valuable benefits: Not only do they diffuse the sun and wind to mellow the extremes of the weather, they give birds a sanctuary from which to squawk, caw, warble, and occasionally flit down for a drink and a look around. When the wind picks up, they trees sway and undulate in a calming and serene tempo.
Soon, the weather, the kids and the bustle will resume their unconscious conspiracy against this quiet shelter, breaking the spell. Until then, I will be as cognizant as I can of this wonderful moment of inconspicuous perfection. I am thankful for this tranquil joy.
May 16th 11:50PM
Hiya.
I've always disliked blogs with an overabundance of links. I read these things for a taste of your personal insights, and if I wanted to view your links page, I would, so knock it off with the dense knot of URL's already. Sprinkle a few out there if you must, and get on with it.
That said, you've got to see this. This guy is a fine example of inner coolness and talent/skill, wrapped in a full-on-geek outer shell.
May 14th 4:55PM
I've always enjoyed reading people's personal websites. They are a form of expression and artistry that can be personal, direct, edgy, honest, and technically and visually impressive, if not outright astounding. I read them every chance I get, including blogs. I am fascinated by the ease by which ordinary yokels like me can express their opinions to the world and consider those of others. Marketplace of ideas, indeed.
In the few days since I put up this humble blog, I have been fortunate enough to come across some very good writing in this vein. The following people write really very well, certainly better than I do. I'm not surprised at the quality of writing - only number of quality writers who I've been exposed to in such a short period of time.
I used to be a pretty good (expressive, creative, insightful) writer. I probably still would be, if it were not for the booze and the lack of practice, but whattayagonnado? There is always hope, and a good example can only help. The following folks are each just that:
John Bizarre
My personal hero for attitude and sheer communicative ability, John Bizarre's
site is not a new one to me, as some of these below. John has a terrific
style, and delivers it with great timing, cool presentation, and barbs that
land like darts, quick and sharp. My favorite!
The Agitator
This guy writes for Fox News and other outlets. He seems to land a little
left of me, but still has keen opinions and puts them forth cleanly. Sounds
like faint praise, but it isn't meant to be.
Tucker
Max
This guy's completely nuts, and writes entirely too well for all the booze
he claims to pound in all of the stories he writes. His stories are often
hilarious, and flow like water - fluid and crystal clear. You never have
to wonder what he is trying to say.
May 13th 1:42PM
I have a night class, Natural Resources. I took this class by chance. The Algebra class I need for my A.A. degree was full, so I raced around the campus on the first night of class, attempting to make use of the newly unclaimed semester in a class I could stand. I wandered into this one, and found an instructor whose demeanor left no doubt - this was not a guy who took a lot of bullshit. I would soon come to find out that Mr. Brent Helm indeed did not tolerate a lot of B.S., shenanigans or tomfoolery, and that he knew what he was talking about when it came to this subject. Due to the number of instructors I've had who a) did abide a lot of nonsense form their students, and b) didn't have a solid grasp of the learning material, I have learned to appreciate these two rare qualities in my instructors. I quickly took a liking to Mr. Helm.
Anyway, my point is that I have a quiz tonight in this class, I have done a moderate amount of studying, and I hope not to embarrass myself with a poor performance. We'll see . . .
May 12th 1:42PM
A coworker forwarded a copy of someone's assertion to me. Let me share it with you, and my response to it:
The e-mail:
There are few things I hate worse in this world than hypocrisy. I read in the paper today that America is investing billions of dollars to rebuild our nuclear weapons industry. Am I wrong, or did we just blow up a country because they had nuclear weapons? Our reason, apparently, is that if we have a big enough stick, none of the other kids in the playground will bother us. Sounds like a case of bullying to me. It seems that everyone has forgotten that America is the only nation who's used nuclear weapons. Twice. Yet, it's perfectly all right for us to have them because we're the United States of America. Bullshit.
I hate my country sometimes.
Of course, the reply to that usually goes along these
lines, "If you don't like the team, get out of the stadium."
I've never really understood this. That's how things get done in a democracy.
If you think something should be changed, you rant about it until it does
change. If we all just pussy-footed around, not speaking up when we thought
something was wrong, nothing would have changed in this country. Dissent
among the citizens brings change. Some bad, I'll admit, but change is
what makes people thrive.
My reply:
Allow me to share my opinion. I know you didn't write this, but it is a poorly conceived pile of fetid nonsensical dung.
We didn't "blow up a country." We took down a government, and spared as many innocent lives as possible in the process.
We did it, not because they had nuclear weapons, but because they were very likely to have chemical and biological weapons, had goals to secure nuclear weapons, and have demonstrated an aggressive and single-minded intent to conquer and absorb other nations, making its people their oppressed and tortured slaves, just like the rest of their citizens, SOMETHING AMERICA DOES *NOT* DO. Japan, Germany, Afghanistan, Iraq - none of these countries are the 51st state of the Union, and the "Imperialist Americans" are not trying to take over the planet. Anybody who looks up from their mindless idol worship long enough to look beyond the propaganda to figure out the truth for themselves can see that.
This kind of ignorant hogwash is available to those of us with freedom us speech, and is an example of what is called "moral equivalence." This is akin to comparing an apple to an orange because of a tenuous and superficial difference (like "they grow on trees, so they're the same"). Comparing a brutal dictatorship in Iraq equally to a democratic government in the U.S. is just stupid, and indicative of the vacuous intellectual laziness of the moron shopping this pathetic "theory" around. Feel free to forward my sentiment to the purveyor of this logically bankrupt jabbering, and tell him/her I said hello.
The above rant may not be worthy of forwarding to people in e-mail, but it's a helluva lot more so than the gob of rat shit that was sent to me. It's certainly worth considering. Thanks for listening.
God Bless America,
Tom
May 11th 1:25PM
Mother's Day.
Went to my mother's grave here in my hometown, and left an amateur arrangement of flowers that grow in our yard - the yard of the same house in which she raised my brother and me. I think it's the kind of thing she would have liked. The cynic in me says this is a waste of time; either a person dies and that's it, or her spirit exists in such a way that she knows how much I love her whether I visit a certain place at a certain time.
My mother didn't raise me to be such a pain-in-the-ass cynic, so I went. I took my time, clipped the flowers, said the things that needed saying. That my mom is the finest person that I've ever known, and the single most positive and impactful presence in my life. That the world wouldn't have been the same without her, and is so much the worse now that she's gone.
Hug your mom - she deserves it.
May 10th 5:58PM
Big day today. Busy, and even got some useful things done. Among them:
- Had my nephews over, showing them a good time.
- Visited my brother-in-law for his birthday. He's a great guy, and if I was a rich man, he'd get better presents.
- Weather-proofed our back fence with my wonderful wife. She made this chore fun.
- Bought some wines to try. I got me a Beaujolais and a Merlot, both
French. Don't look at me like that - I've been up
to my ass in California wines from California wine country, and I want to know what I'm missing. And besides that, who
asked you?
Sorry, I get a little sensitive. I've been nursing a latent Francophilia for over a year now, and this sour turn in foreign relations has me a little jumpy. More on this at a later time.
Thanks for checking in. (Just for the record, my logs show that no one has checked in, so I'm kind of whistling through the graveyard on this one. It's my self-imposed delusion that anyone's reading this. In all honesty, this isn't my first experience talking to myself, so I'm less uncomfortable with it than you might think. So be it. End of soliloquy.)
May 9th 8:29PM
Yesterday, I went to a supermarket (because they're open @ 7am on my way to work) and bought a birthday gift for a coworker I like, but don't really know that well. It was a wallet & keychain "gift set." As I slid the clear plastic cover off, I ran my index finger over the wallet's material, I discovered that it was suede and decided that it didn't feel too cheap. I bought it and a card, and continued on to work.
May 8th 12:11PM
My first blog entry.
What are blogs? A blog is a web-log, like a digital journal, an online diary. On the positive side, it is a way to keep frequently updated content on a website and express yourself, with little investment in time & technology. On the downside, it is only of interest to people who know you and to voyeurs who don't, which sounds a little creepy, but it's part of the deal. I keep tabs on one guy I've never even met, and his blog is pretty cool.
I've always secretly thought that my opinions were worth sharing or at least writing down, but I've never kept a journal. When looking back on old documents, e-mails, photos and other artifacts from my past, I've very often found them personally rewarding. They remind me of events and situations in the past better than my faulty memory, and bring a rich sense of nostalgia. I'd briefly wish that I had kept more of these items for future reference, and then go back to whatever I was doing when I ran across them.
What I hope to do with this blog:
- I hope to contribute something useful at once a day (uh, or so), and I'll wrap up the entries every month for an archive. The new stuff will be kept at the top, scrolling the old stuff down.
- I hope to post honest entries that reflect my take on things. I don't know how I'm going to do this without stepping on toes (because I'm sure my boss will stumble across this sooner or later). Guess we'll find out.
- I hope to express myself in my own personal way. As you'll see, I swear unrepentantly here and in my daily life. Let me apologize right here, once and for all, up front. I know I do it, my mother taught me better, and I know better. Cussing is for lazy-minded people who don't take the time to think up other, sufficiently caustic wording to achieve the effect they're looking for. I am often one of those people, so get used to it. I'm trying to be myself here. I'm tired of brown-nosing people in my personal and professional life for fear of losing some advantage (like my job, for instance) or stepping on toes. I hope that I avoid that here.
- I hope to keep it brief, unlike this first entry. Forgive, I'm long-winded, especially when I'm pissed off about something. Hoo, boy, then I'd like to never shut up.
Finally, I considered using a blogging technology to maintain this site. Screw that - John Bizarre keeps a "Daily Snap" page with little or no sophisticated hoohah (so far as I can tell). He just uploads the text. Bang. Done. No interface. No overhead. No signing up for yet another username/password combination some unnecessary "service." If he can do it, so can I. There's really not all that much to it. I overcomplicate too many things in my life already - fuck all that.
Thanks for reading. See you soon.