March 31st 7:49AM
So much to blog about
Man, there is so much to blog about, and I haven't mentioned a peep of it. Here goes:
My Uncle rocks
My Uncle Lou has continued to make visits from the Sacramento area to try and help my brother overcome the obstacles he faces. As he himself pointed out, the results haven't been smashing successes, but his modesty notwithstanding, it is good to see him actively helping my brother out. My brother needs it.
The City of Manteca's Toter Laws are bullshit, and they can kiss my fat hairy ass
That's a long title for this portion, but it's worthy. The Manteca Bulletin notes in a story today that Manteca will ticket you $337.50 (holy rip-off, Batman!) for leaving their garbage and recycling toters visible from the street. Not in the street mind you, just on your property where prying eyes of passersby can get a glimpse of them.
I call Bullshit. This pisses me off to no end. I don't understand why this is necessary, especially when neighbors can leave broken-down, junky-ass cars on their property, not water or cut their grass for months on end, but I can't have my garbage can out where it's handy.
And another thing - if this visual repugnance is the problem, why doesn't the city gets its fingers out of my residential ass, and go after the owners of the former Shell gas station at Louise and North Main streets?
Shell had a gas station there for years (decades?), and abruptly yanked the business, leaving a shifty, makeshift fence around the place and boarding up the windows. They repainted it gray and took down the "Shell" logos, so that as the tumbleweeds and decay set in, it wouldn't reflect badly on Shell. No, just on the entire city, as a huge lot on one of the town's main intersections suffers the ugliness of this shithole. It's like a tribute to apathy, it's fucking embarrassing. I wish I had taken photos this morning, before I'd posted this blog entry - you'd have loved it. Maybe I'll take some tonight and post them.
I'm tempted to cover the thing in fliers that say: "This Horrible Disgusting Blight brought to you by Shell Corporation." Nice fat Shell logo in the center.
This is one of the many things that makes me glad I'm moving to another city. If I wasn't moving, I'd build a small "shelter" for my recycling bins, and cover it with anti-city propaganda and protests. Fuck you, Manteca; get your head out of your ass, and out of my driveway. Put those elderly wanna-be-cop volunteers to some good use for a change, and stop harassing people with jobs who pay taxes. Jerks.
Fly away, little Robin
Tomorrow is the last working day of one of my coworkers, Robin C. She is quitting and moving on to bigger and better things, to the city of SomethingUnpronounceable, Washington. I need to buy her a going-away gift, as she has been a good buddy for years now.
March 29th 7:49AM
Rrrggghh
Life is becoming more difficult, and I am starting to burn oil. The Big Move had better bring the climactic relief that I expect, or there will be Hell to pay.
I hear people say this offhand now and then, but believe me when I say: I need a vacation.
From work. From home. From this feeling I have that twists my gut and pinches my spine between the shoulder blades. I need a break.
March 28th 7:49AM
Ow
This weekend was productive, and difficult. My wife and I worked like Mexican slaves to get the backyard cleared out for the upcoming Big Move. We moved all the knick-knack-paddywhack bullshit, all the odds & ends that we couldn't (or wouldn't want to) entrust to the wonderful people who will be helping us move out on the big day. We also broke down our above-ground pool and stowed it away. We got a lot done, and made a big lurch forward toward our goal.
I'm proud of the progress we made, as it is significant. My muscles are sore, but I wish I had work like this to do more often - the exercise does my mushy, office-jockey ass some good.
This kind of preparation is exactly the kind of planning ahead that I wish some others would undertake when they are faced with looming deadlines and have asked for my help. Many are the times when I've agreed to an ambitious project for whom I am not the chief beneficiary, only to see all efforts smothered by abject lack of preparation. I'm proud of us for not being one of those people on this project.
March 25th 12:49PM
Workload awaits
I plan on going home and doing a bunch of manual labor to facilitate our upcoming departure. I may also run into my Uncle Lou, a good Joe by all accounts.
I sure hope my weekend doesn't suck. I wonder how much control I have over that.
March 25th 7:49AM
Pantload Awakens
I spent a few minutes helping my wife out with my boy this morning. He slept in late, and I think I found out why - he was obviously exhausted from cranking out a huge nasty dump that stunk up the entire north wing of the Bickle compound. Can that kid shit, or what??
No potage for you!
I found out yesterday afternoon that a guy I work with but hardly know is going on vacation in a few weeks, to Paris. O, cruel Fate, why must thou mock me?
So I told him about all the great stuff we did, hipped him to how the Metro works, and generally did a bang-up job selling him on Paris and advising him on how to get the most out of his trip. He humored me for a while, and my enthusiasm was difficult to stifle.
Speaking of the City of Lights
The Eiffel Tower webcam I visit on a regular basis seems to be functioning at its old, optimum rate. For a while (months), the image at left had stopped refreshing every few seconds, and only offered new images every now & then. It now seems to be pumping out content steadily. I love it. At what is late Friday afternoon, the base of the Tower is packed with people.
Awesome.
March 23rd 7:49AM
Paris, prices going up
Expedia's newsletter reports flights to Paris are up from a recent $400 to $553. That's a lotta scratch, and we shoulda went when we could. As it looks now, it's gonna be a while before I get to wander down cobblestone streets again. Maybe that's not all bad - I can brush up on my French, and other skills that make the most of a trip to a historic city.
I still wish I were going tomorrow.
A few people actually read this thing
The number of e-mails I receive that refer back to a recent blog entry I've written have been on the increase lately. How nice.
On the move
Our temporary storage location is nearly at capacity. We will likely have to rent another unit soon, to keep things moving. Things will work out. Things will work out.
This move has taken away my spare time at night and my ability to use it to foster any personal growth. It's just as well - I was squandering the time anyway. Maybe when things slow down I'll put it to better use. Or just pick up drinking again. Either way.
Work
Work is odd lately. Changes abound: we're losing two people that have been here longer than I; a recent FCC ruling has changed a big part of our company's plans by disallowing pipsqueak productions like us from our God-given right to use the Big Boys' infrastructure to conduct telephone business; I am being asked to cover more bases every week.
Today however, we are out of coffee, and my chief concern is death by boredom.
Johnny B. Good
Did I mention that John Bizarre is back on the digital map? I fucking love it
March 21st 7:49AM
Still fat, but not so much
I weighed in at 225.5 this morning. That's a cool 10 pounds less than a few weeks ago. I continue to try to abstain from ramrodding groceries into my yearning maw and avoiding sweets most of the time. Aside from moving heavy shit, I haven't been exercising much, but I'll just have to be forgiven for that.
I hope it continues - I hate looking in the mirror at Blubbo, the sixth wonder of the world.
A good weekend
The weekend was all right. Our shambling, uncoordinated attempt to move our non-necessity items to a temporary storage location continues. It is unorganized, but we can feel good in that we take a tenacious approach, constantly eyeing what can be packed up and transported next.
We saw the Realtor this weekend, and things are moving right along. We plan on being out by the weekend of the eighth next month. I'm excited, but my darling wife is even more so.
I played with my son some - he was very cute and good-tempered, and we had a good time. It helped that Grandma got up with him on Sunday morning at 2:30am. Bless her heart.
March 18th 7:49AM
Oh God it's been a long week
I don't think I want to go home anymore. I think I'll just sleep in my car and drive back to work in the morning. Home has been screaming, dissatisfied babies, chores and pressure. Eh, fuck that, I'm too old for this bullshit. I am having trouble maintaining my temper and mental discipline.
It will get better. It always does.
Moving along
We are seeing a little progress in our transactions, just enough to put in motion a balancing act between the old and the new that I fear will leave us in the middle if we don't handle it right. The middle is not a good place to be at this point.
What a salesman
My pop asked Denise to marry him, and I am told she said yes. Best of luck to them.
March 16th 7:49AM
Cold Case leaves me cold
My wife and I watch a weekly detective drama called "Cold Case." My enjoyment of it has dipped in recent times, but especially so in the last few weeks, because I've noticed a pattern to their storylines that I don't like.
Last week's show centered around a mentally retarded teenager (who looked about 35), who was sweet and harmless to a degree that doesn't exist in humanity - obviously a figure designed to reach into your chest cavity and extract your sympathy like an emotional pickpocket. He was mercilessly beaten by the school sociopath, then by his "best friend," because of a cruel lie by the "prettiest girl in school" whom he had a crush on, that he tried to rape her.
This week's "plot" involved a sweet, innocent, doe-eyed 9-year old boy who was kidnapped and sold to a ruthless child molester and then talked into swimming to his death in an ice-cold lake.
While the show is fairly effective in presenting these characters, it seems cynical and lazy to me that they're used in this fashion. It resembles a paint-by-numbers approach to getting an audience to care about the characters.
I imagine next week's show will include five minutes of petting and nuzzling cute, happy, playful puppies, and then forty minutes of stepping on them while they whine and scream. Mmmmm, that's some good drama.
Uh, not!
March 13th 12:48PM
Financial hysteria
I just got off the phone with our loan person, talking specifics about taxes, fees, closing costs, monthly payments, etc. My chest started to hurt, and I think I shit in my pants a little. I am concerned about the big numbers rolling around, but with my wife's assurances I am putting the shotgun down. For now.
<pant pant> Whew.
March 13th 7:49AM
Weekend getaway
This weekend was brutally busy, but fun & rewarding.
We revisited a prospective new home last Saturday, and sorta fell in love with it. We've decided to move on it, so we're putting our home up for sale and preparing to skeedaddle. Pictures to come.
Exciting. I hope I like yard work.
March 11th 12:49AM
Much craziness
Still finagling finding new, bigger better digs out in the boonies.
Spanish Muslims issued a fatwa against Osama Bin Laden - I can barely express how gratified I am at that. Practitioners of this 'peaceful religion' are overdue for earning their faith's reputation for peace.
The Fat Cat in Modesto seems to have discontinued their Open Mike night, as far as I can tell from their Calendars. Bummer. But I can't blame them, since it was scarcely attended. Still, unfortunate.
March 8th 7:35PM
John Bizarre - The triumphant return continues
Looking at John B.'s new site, I see a new gob of text sliding across the page, JavaScript-assisted. Exciting to see progress! Also, one META tag reads: "John Bizarre's present site is a back up. Soon to come: dates, times and nightly ramblings from the beast on the other side.." A bold oath to return to the web. God bless his twisted little heart.
March 8th 7:25PM
Message in an electronic bottle
I recently had an agreeable young lady from not-too far away write to me after she stumbled across my blog. That was very cool! It's one of the best things about this website, the occasional Internaut drops me a line. If you're reading this and have never written me, do it. Could be fun.
French
I have been thinking it would be cool to get a job where I could use and improve my French. I fear I'm not good enough to speak it for a living, but that's quitter talk, man. The possibilities are out there. A year or two ago, I couldn't have envisioned being able to tell a Frenchman that my sister sleeps in a car, but today I can. I must think positive, for anything can happen.
March 7th 12:56PM
Prayers - ANSWERED!
Saucy Jack is back. For no particular reason today, I did something I often consider, but rarely do. No, not bathe, philistine. I punched johnbizarre.com" into my browser's address bar, and stabbed "Enter." Usually it stalls out, and gives me nothing, which is depressing enough that I don't attempt it often.
But today, today to my happy surprise, the screen filled with text and color; the man is back! Yeeessss...! The content and the design are sparse, but they're there. I am thrilled. This calls for a drink.
Welcome back to the land of the digitally living, John B., you bad motherfucker!
March 7th 7:49AM
What a day
Our trip to see one dilapidated property became an expedition to view several foothill locations, absorbing the entire Sunday afternoon and the energy of at least two adults.
We saw a lot of expensive places, and a few more-reasonably priced lots. Nothing we loved, but none we hated either, expect for the first place, a 5-acre lot with a broken down modular home on it that seems to have been inhabited by the meth-crazed progeny of generations of California hillbillies, heretofore known as the "dump," and the "shithole." Nearly every property had a beautiful view, which was nice.
Many thanks to Ken & Judie for helping us watch Brian, who was good sport for such a long, grueling trip.
March 6th 7:09AM
My wife hates my house
And I don't blame her. It's where I grew up, but it's also small and suburban. So, we've got our antennae raised for a bigger place out in the boonies, where we can keep my wife's horse. Or, hor-sez. Plural. We're going to look at a place this morning - I am guardedly optimistic, but there are reported to be real problems with the quality of the place. We'll see.
March 2nd 7:49AM
I bet the Realtor's happy
Mel Gibson bought his own island. Hell, a nice one, too. I cannot imagine being that incredibly rich.
I dub thee - Sir Geeksalot
Bill Gates was granted the title of Knight Commander of the British Empire by the Queen of England. At first I thought: "Wow, what's this guy ever done to deserve this, other than being über-wealthy?" But I guess he's given enough money to charity to rent the moon for a couple of months, so some good must have been done.
But I still think that if they let the Queen dink around with formatting a Microsoft Word document for a half-hour or so before knighting Mr. Gates, she'd have gouged him with her knighting sword, instead of knighting him with it.