June 30th 8:00AM
Here's Friday's post, waylaid, thanks to Dreamweaver and my poor attention to detail.
June 27th 12:52PM
Lunchtime blog entry - Pick it up!
I went and made dinner last night for me and my sweetie. No big deal for most, but a significant undertaking for me, even considering the prefabricated nature of most of the ingredients. I am comfortable in the kitchen like a hippopotamus is comfy on rollerskates.
We had Beef Stroganoff, which any Hamburger Helper veteran will tell you, isn't that big of a deal, and they're right. I got a bag of "fully cooked" beef and sauce, which was a good thing, because it tasted better than I could've done from "scratch." The rest was fairly homemade in comparison. I boiled some artichokes, did the same with some egg noodles for the Stroganoff (don't call it "Strokin' Off," 'cuz people don't think that's funny). Warmed up the beef mixture and heated up some garlic bread my wife likes. Finally, I bought some pre-mixed salad and added croutons, almond chips and Bacon Bits.
Wow - looking back on it, this thing was about as homemade as a Cadillac. Oh well, I guess what matters is the thought and effort. Rather than force my poor, overworked wife into stopping at the Burger Barn for dinner on the way home , I gave up two hours of my time (Yes, it took me two hours. Hippopotamus. Roller skates.) to shop for and prepare this paint-by-numbers feast. She likes meat-based dishes, so, Stroganoff. She likes artichokes but they take time to prepare - not ideal for weeknight cooking. Last time we had a salad, she mentioned how much she liked sliced almonds, so, salad with sliced almonds. She's always liked garlic bread . . . you get the idea.
So bottom line, I took the time, put out some effort and put together something I thought she'd like. So what if somebody else seasoned the sauce, packed the vegetables, and buttered the garlic bread? It beats the Burger Barn, and she knows I love her. Good enough.
June 28th 7:05PM
Modern technology. Pshh!
I'd like to thank Dreamweaver for booty-humping yesterday's post, which I spent a good portion of my lunch hour slapping together. I got it all writ up and uploaded it, or so I thought. This one time I didn't view the site itself to ensure adequate results, it appears it didn't go up at all. By the time I checked it this morning, I don't have the post here with me to re-upload. Stupid, crash-happy piece of binary dogshit. I'll post the entry again on Monday, just because I like it.
Thinking outside the box
Some Massachusetts senator thought it might be worth considering to bury Muslim terrorists in pig blood and entrails. You know, as a deterrent. Apparently, they are rumored to really really not like that. Now, I'm not saying that this is the right thing to do, or even a step in the right direction. All I'm saying is that I love it when someone runs up to the applecart of Politically Correct thinking, kicks it over onto its side, and begins to urinate on the wheel, all the while giving the cart attendant an unrepentant, menacing glare. It just reminds me I'm alive.
June 25th 6:10AM
"...And I shall call him ... Mini-Me."
It's a wonderful time to be alive, isn't it? This product is both intriguing and hilarious. I'm thinking of buying the kit, just so I can take the finished product to work, and waggle it at my co-workers and make funny noises. I've spent $40 on worse investments, I assure you.
I got a belated birthday gift yesterday, which rocks. My buddy read about the Fareed Zakaria book I yearned for on this page, and went out & picked it up. That's terrific. In unrelated news, I hear those Lamborghinis are really nice... Mmm, yeah.
June 24rd 7:57AM
Access Denied
This blog entry's a little late - had a little trouble accessing my website last night. Luckily, my ISP has some excellent folks working for it, and it all was fixed before start of business today.
I am tempted to put something useful in the right column, mingled in with my blog "archive" (snicker) and e-mail link. This whole interface could use a redesign, but I like its austerity (although I get quirky CSS compatibility at home in IE 6). Most other blogs list their favorite bloggers, their buddies, etc., in columns like that. I've already got a meager links page, so I don't know how those ought to overlap. If you have any hot ideas about the right column, send me an e-mail - there's e-mail links everywhere on this page, so I won't post yet another here.
Off to work...
June 24rd 7:47AM
Cruisin'
Me
and the missus went and helped her mom get buy a decent car (heck, a brand-new
one) this weekend. She's got her a sporty little Kia
Rio that is light years better than the tank she was cruising around
in before. Better gas mileage, easier for arthritic knees to get in &
out of, more reliable, under warranty for the foreseeable future... Psh.
I oughtta sell these things.
Who Let the Dog(s) Out?
No word yet on whether Duane "Dog" Chapman will be sent to Iraq to pursue Saddam Hussein and his two sons.
June 23rd 6:03AM
Isn't that interesting?
If you drink enough red wine, you'll shit purple. Try it. Impress your friends. I feel like The Joker, from the Batman comics.
"Riddle me this, riddle me that - who's got clownish, lavender scat?"
Okay, I admit, that line would be more attributable to the Riddler. Sue me. I'm just trying to be informative here.
June 21st 9:18AM
Freddie Mercury is fast becoming my new musical idol pro tempore. He sang with strength, grandeur, emotion and showmanship. He sang about finding his place in life, the pursuit of real love, and giving your all. It's a damn shame that a productive and sincere artist like this was taken too soon. I can only imagine the work he would have done and continued to do if he were still alive today.
Two caveats
1. I haven't forgotten Angus, Brian and the lads. They're still my all-time favorites, no question. But there's room on the shelf for other esteemed candidates, and Freddie definitely qualifies.
2. I haven't forgotten "the rest of the band." Just as Brian, Roger & John couldn't have been Queen without Freddie, neither could Freddie without them. Freddie was the quintessential "hey look at me" front man though, and was something to behold.
June 20th 12:55PM
Happy happy, joy joy
Reading through my most recent posts, and with the help of someone who's actually after reading the blog, I realize that this thing reads like a suicide note. Jesus. I am, overall, a very happy guy, and with the exception of the past week, have been on a pretty positive roll. Maybe it's the effort to reflect on the inner workings of my head, or that the last week has been a bummer, but there's definitely a dark cloud hanging over this page.
Screw that! I've got a lot going for me, let state it for the record. Wanna hear about it? Tough shit, you're going to anyway:
- My job doesn't suck.
- I am healthy.
- I'm drinking less than I used to.
- I've been exercising more than I used to.
- My wife and I have a relationship that gets stronger and better all the time.
- I'm studying subjects in my spare time that interest me and that give back all the effort I invest in them.
- I've got a new car that is geeky and environmentally friendly, and I love it.
And that's just off the top of my head, and all I have time for before my lunch hour is over. I could go on & on, but that's enough for a start. So cancel the suicide watch, I'm feelin' pretty friggin' good!
June 19th 9:49AM
Happy Birthday to me
Hooray.
Today's my birthday. It's very odd - I get real weird around birthdays and holidays. You might think that it's because I resent the passing of time, the aging process, the rocket-powered roller coaster ride towards the patient, gaping jaws of death, the ... uh, ahem.
Well, obviously I think about it. But I don't think it's the age thing that gets to me. Vanity's never been my problem, nor fear of death. I think it's more that I'm uncomfortable with an event that comes along that calls for and deserves celebration. It ties into several quirks of my life and personality:
Friendlessness - Other than my wife & a couple of guys I'm fairly tight with, I don't have friends. If you count as friends people I see regularly outside of work, this small number shrinks to almost zero. Weep not for me, this the way I like it. It does make for a socially unusual circumstance, however.
Celebration - All my life, I've had a refracted view of celebration. When I was little, we had a decent time, financially speaking, but because of my mother's humble upbringing and our single income household, we had an aura of noble poverty going. We never suffered overly austere holidays, but I was always intimidated by gifts, self-conscious about whether I showed enough appreciation for the ones I received, and about the sufficiency of the ones I bought others. Were they thoughtful or useful enough to convey the good feelings I had towards the recipient? That's an awful lot to ask of a kid's meager allowance.
Beyond childhood, I fucked things up worse for myself by regularly engaging in behavior that should be reserved largely for celebration - drinking (and, uh, other stuff). I'm no lush, but now, booze holds a less special meaning for me - one of the subtle, milder consequences of immoderate and youthful drinking. If this is the worst consequence of regular use/abuse, I know I'm lucky.
So, my approach to special events is less than ideal, and I get edgy around these times. I think this odd condition will get better - I recognize the reasons for it, and how silly some of these concerns are, and that makes them easier to handle. Maybe in another 32 years, I'll be back on an even keel. See you then.
June 16th 6:45PM
Living in yesterday
Yesterday was a day that defies labeling. To say it sucked isn't true. Yesterday had its own charms. I spent most of the day with my wife, visiting her Pop and his wife and having a better-than-expected time. But to say that it was all great or fun or even good sure as hell isn't true either, not by a long shot.
All weekend I've noticed my fuse getting shorter and shorter, and I'm not referring metaphorically to my dick, I'm talking about my temper. I've been getting more angry more often, and it's beginning to trouble me. The big thing is that I've always had a temper - irritations build up on me, and although I'm a fairly happy-go-lucky guy, things will accumulate in my head, and once in a while, I'll go completely apeshit over just about nothing.
Now, I know me better than anybody knows me. I've known me all my life. There are times when it seems I'll want to start a fight in an empty room (credit the late Robin Harris for that turn of phrase, I've always loved it). But after a few decades of reflection, I realize that these outbursts don't happen for no reason. For one reason or another, events like these surface when I'm unhappy - like long-term unhappy - usually in a way that either isn't obvious, or that I'm working hard to ignore. The last two times I've been here, it ended relationships. I'm really looking to avoid that.
June 14th 9:45AM
Fuck.
One dirty look, ruined everything. I was - we were - cruising along, having a great morning, shaping up to be a fantastic day. I had a nice momentum going, getting a lot done. One dirty look from my wife threw gravel under my skateboard.
What do I do? What do I do when I feel such enmity towards the one person I'm supposed to be able to count on? When I have no one to turn to? The answer is I don't know. My inclination is to leave. Walk, drive, be gone. Where to go? I have no friends, here or anywhere else. The only place I can think of that I want to go is up to the mountains - the foothills or farther, into the Sierra Nevada, wander around the trees, rocks and other things that do not calculate to piss me off. Why not? I don't know, but 10 minutes ago, I was at the edge of town, ready to launch eastward with a full tank of gas. I took the other option, and ended up back at my computer, ruining my eardrums with some excellent Rock and Roll, still considering grabbing a map and my binoculars and getting back in the car. There are worse ways to spend a Saturday than in the California mountains.
I could drink, drink myself stupid until my liver hurt, and say good bye to the rest of the weekend. It's nine o'clock in the fucking morning, for Pete's sake.
I hate being in this position. It happens every time we fight. I don't know what to do, where to turn. I'm tempted to do some really stupid things. What, I can't quite say, but when there's nothing here for me, I'm tempted to leave. It's like I've got this one thing keeping me tethered here, and when I can't count on it, I'm teetering on the edge of gone.
Then my wife comes in and tries to make a little peace. I haven't even figured out just how angry I am yet, and she's dumping sand on my campfire. I'm not sure whether I appreciate the gesture or if it pisses me off more. I can't be done being angry, I've barely gotten started! Fuck. I sound like a Goddamn woman.
June 13th 5:45PM
Eat it
Today kinda stunk. I spent the latter half of my workday trying not to tell a few specific people to eat a Snicker's bar out of my asshole. So far, so good.
Oh well, I still have my health, a good life and a great wife. Fuck the rest.
Bizarre page
John Bizarre's Daily Snap has taken ill lately. John's probably fine, but his daily notebook isn't even weekly anymore. The fucking thing's been blank for a day or two, to boot. Before that, updates were few and far between. Who am I to complain? It's certainly worth every penny I've paid for it. I imagine it's because the author is loving his new venture (filmmaking) too much to keep in touch with the site. If you're that busy, something's got to give. More power to him.
June 12th 7:56AM
My life is a book, laying open in front of the kitchen window. The winds of time turn each day's page, and I don't know if the window's opening wider, or the breezes are growing stronger, but I do know that the pages are turning faster, hurrying me to The End.
I don't want to glimpse the ending just yet - I want to slow down, and savor the story.
June 11th 6:36PM
I love Fareed Zakaria's work. His profile was raised significantly after the September 11th attacks, as his Indian birthright lent him to our need for a credible viewpoint from 'that region of the world.' Really, how many times can you listen to pasty white guys (and women) opine about circumstances and factors regarding the Middle East before you want to hear from someone who can speak from experience?
Also, his demeanor speaks well for him; he has a calm, thoughtful way about him, unlike many of the other speakers whom hail from the Middle East. This is in contrast to folks like Adel Al-Jubeir , foreign policy advisor to the crown prince of Saudi Arabia, who speaks well, but has a rushed manner, gets very huffy in interviews and obviously pushes the ideology of his government. To be fair, he's not a commentator without political affiliation like Zakaria; Al-Jubeir is paid to push his governments agenda, so I am comparing apples to figs, anyway.
Anyhow, Mr. Zakaria has a lot going for him, and I never miss him on ABC's This Week for political discussion. He has opinion's and insights on democracy that really catch my attention, and make me wish I knew more about the country I'm so proud of. He *should* have useful insights - he just finished a book about freedom & democracy. I've got a birthday coming up, maybe I should ask for it as a gift. If I don't get it, I'll have to buy it myself. So many books, so little time.
Another excellent commentator is Mansoor Ijaz . He does a lot of punditry for Fox, offering insight and information to shows that could use some substance now and then, if you ask me.
Both of these guys give it to you straight, and I like that. Is that so much to ask?
June 10th 6:30PM
It's all about me
Geez - if you look through this blog it reads like a summary of the local news. While I think it's important to point out & comment on local current events, I risk leaning too heavily on content from elsewhere. A blog is supposed to be about the blogger, mainly. People should get a feel for the kind of person I am, not just the places from which I get my news. But - enough reflection.
Taking it easy tonight, at least for the moment. I'm chilling with a little T.V., a little Bella Sera wine (dude, get the 2000 Merlot, it rocks - avoid the 2001 if the 2000 is available - the 2000 is much better), and some blogging.
An occupied mind
My blogging is already falling off (barely a month into it) mostly because I've been very busy at work lately, trying to be a better employee. There's been less time than usual for introspection. Every now & then I get a bug up my ass, and imagine that giving a more honest effort at work will make me happier, and make the effort. I should write about this at some length, because I can smell interesting subject matter in the topic, but so far it isn't meant to be. Maybe someday soon.
Anyhow, I've been down this road a few times, and each time my increased effort results in the dismantling of my theory on increased happiness. But hope springs eternal, and although I could conceivably continue with the half-assed effort that I often feel my work environment deserves, I once more will commit a reasonable amount of time and an increased effort to the vocational experiment that is the near future. One thing that has changed is that this time around, I have an ally-slash-lab partner for this experiment, which may make results interesting and more productive. We'll see!! Watch this space for intermittent updates. That's it for now, must go, eat, rub my daddy-parts on my wife...
Death to your enemies!
June 9th 8:40PM
S.J. group joins in eco-friendly fuel-cell project
I like this. I've always been interested in environmental issues, but since I took that Conservation of Natural Resources class, this stuff has more meaning. I think it's past high time that society embrace renewable and alternative fuel sources. Good for them!
June 7th 8:55PM
Ick.
Today, I worked hard in the yard. I stepped on a snail in bare feet, tottered back on my heel in alarm, and warbled: "Nngyahhh...!" Just thought you might want to picture that; made me feel manly. Then I spread enough snail-killing dust to lay waste to a legion of arthropods. That'll teach 'em.
Rock the Cock
I concocted coq au vin (chicken in wine, or, literally translated: "cock with wine." I'll let you guess at the ingredients.) for my family, and they thought enough of it to eat it! It really was not bad. My wife seemed to enjoy it - God knows she loves her cock.
I wonder how long I'll live after she reads this.
June 6th 6:19AM
Gone to the dogs
At least the department's canines can still hold their heads high. Police dog "Hawkeye" alerted on a minivan passing through to city, so they took it apart, and found a fairly sophisticated compartment with 22 pounds of coke, and two pounds of meth - good boy!! Give that mutt a Snausage, on me.
There's more.
Speaking of crime and criminals... Then, you get this kind of crap, a Manteca High School teacher busted for taking sexual advantage of a 14-year old girl, and possessing "an enormous amount" of child porn on his computer. Dammit! This guy taught P.E.!! Phys Ed, for Christ's sake. You know, the class where the kids get naked and shower afterwards?! That one.
Never a dull moment in this town.
Wow.
I picked a helluva day to read the paper. The Manteca and Ripon Police Departments sure have a stink on them right about now. One of the Manteca cops shoving around a cuffed, non-resisting suspect, the other one pulling his gun and threatening to execute him "right here," and the Ripon cop lies like a dog about the whole incident. Then they find out - oops, somebody got the thing on video. Now, everybody involved has been sent home - the cops are on leave (except the Ripon cop, his boss is 'weighing the facts' or some kinda bullshit), and the suspect has had all charges dismissed. Dropped 'em like a hot turd.
I'm generally pro-cop - these guys do a tough job that I wouldn't want to do. Every now & then though, somebody gets caught painting outside the lines, and you have to worry about your safety as a civilian. This kind of shit they don't need, especially now, when the family of a dead guy is suing them for shooting him. In a nutshell:
The parents of Kenneth Beeby are suing Manteca PD for a shooting in which they claim he reached for a loaded shotgun - an action that bought him the farm. The parents say the shotgun was nowhere near the body... Initially, I am inclined to believe the police - they deserve the benefit of the doubt, until you can remove that doubt. With this kind of thing jumpin' off, it bleeds a lot of credibility away from the cops, when they could really use it.
I'm sorry that the links in my previous posting are broken - the Manteca Bulletin's online news site leaves a lot to be desired. One component of that desire is that they don't archive their stories, as far as I can tell. Here today, gone tomorrow. Now, The Record, there's a newspaper/website. 7-day Search, great local coverage. That's why I subscribe. The Manteca Bulletin just sucks. Spelling and grammar errors every time I pick it up and read it. It's like they don't have time to proofread. They usually get scooped by The Record anyway. I wish it weren't true, but it is.
June 5th 6:28AM
Another day passed without blogging. I must be sick.
Don't fuck with the Manteca PD
If you value your life, don't get cute with the Manteca Po-lice. They will put a bullet (or 30) in you. Those links are to two stories and an image (an image that is entirely too large for the page it's on - the Manteca Bulletin newspaper has such a crappy website) regarding the MPD and its use of deadly force. The families of the dead guys are suing the city alleging wrongful death. All I know is what I read in the papers, but it looks to me like these guys pushed their luck WAY too far. I mean come on, when the police approach you, do you:
a) calmly ask "What seems to be the problem, Officer?"
b) hastily reach for your loaded shotgun, or
c) fire a couple of rounds into the ceiling to show these pigs you mean business
Me, I'm shooting for a) (pardon the pun). But that's just me, but I'm fond of breathing in and out for long periods at a stretch. It just seems to be common sense. I don't get all loud and rowdy when the cops come around (psst - they have guns), I don't scream at them "I PAY YOUR SALARY!!" I do what they ask, and so far, look, no bullet holes.
The Way of the Gun
Sure, it may be that there was wrong-doing, what do I know? If there was, it will likely come out in court. If not, the plaintiffs should have to pay the government back for the cost of the proceedings - these things run up quite a tab, and frivolous lawsuits are killing this country.
Yeah, cops can be power-mad dickheads, but so can the broad at the DMV, or the snot-nosed weasel at the video store who shows an illegitimate late fee for some video you turned in on time. By and large, I've gotten way more slack from cops for things I did, than flack for things I didn't do. So, don't make any real sudden moves, keep your hands where they can see 'em, and keep your smart-ass comments to yourself, and you should get by just fine.
June 3rd 5:34AM
I started this blog because I had all these thoughts rolling around inside my head, and I thought many of them were useful enough for one reason or another that I should share them. Then along comes yesterday, busy at work, busy at home, and not one notable, blog-worthy thought. Yesterday was all about gettin' it done; not much time for reflection and fancy thoughts. Even so, I have a lot of subjects packed away in the ol' melon, quite suitable for sharing here. The trouble is, they're not prepared - they're still nebulous gobs of thought that aren't ready for exhibition, so when a busy day comes along, they're not likely to be put on display. Oh well...
One mentionable thing happened yesterday. I wrote a bit of CSS code for a friend of mine who is a lot better coder than I am, and he found it useful enough to work into his project. Way cool! I took that as a compliment, and was glad I could help.
My wife had a long day, toiling in the heat, so I took care of her when she came home. She's the best.
This may be the most boring blog entry I've posted yet. Sorry 'bout that, but it's all I've got today. So far.
June 1st 5:45PM
Whew! Busy weekend.
Went to a baby shower yesterday. I know what you're thinking, and you're right. Those things are for women only. I don't know why I (and many other red-blooded men) got roped into going to one, but I had a good time anyway. There was snack foods, beer (which I helped pay for, but didn't drink - I was drivin') and a lot of good people.
Did a pile of housework both Saturday and Sunday to keep the suburban bliss machine running smoothly. Yawn, I know, but it makes me feel good to contribute. I made time for personal pursuits, but maybe not enough.
Went to a flea market Sunday morning, how do you like that? They have one at Delta College's Holt parking lot every Sunday. I'd heard about it, but never went. I got me a golf putter and a metallic novelty sign with the original Kings of Comedy, the Three Stooges. It's a wild west motif and the caption reads: "Wanted Dead or Alive, 50 cents apiece or a dollar for all three." Good stuff. My wife got some fruity doodads that women-folk like. Excellent morning, fo' sho'.
Gassed up my car, but didn't wash it - Damn!
When I first started drinking wine (this year), I was advised to make some notes on wines when I drink them, so I know which I like, which I didn't, and why. It sounded a little snobbish, but I've done it more or less faithfully, and I have to say I'm glad I did. It helps me to find the ones I liked again, avoid the ones I don't, and helps to build a frame of reference so I can choose more selectively. I will debut my brief and amateur listing of wines and opinions soon, just in case any budding oenophile are buzzing about.
Finally, I'm starting a new month's blogging page. Last month's is linked here and in the column to the right. And so it shall go, ad infinitum. Well, until I die or fall off in my logging discipline.