January 31st 12:49PM
Set Mira on fi-ruh
Well, that's what I was hoping to do. I had a five minute set last night at Mira's Theater in Vallejo, and although I got some great laughs (which I attribute to a great crowd), I felt like my set was horrible.
I listened to my recording afterwards, and it didn't sound as bad as it felt, but it could have been so much better, I am disappointed in myself for not kicking it out smooth and confident. Spirit Walker, the host of the show, and I had not met before last night, and I wanted to make as good an impression as I could. But I didn't. I don't know why.
I admit I had practiced less than I have before, but still I felt ready, and besides, I felt like over-practicing had harmed me in the past. Eesh. I'll not make that mistake again.
What's odd is that I felt ready, not nervous at all, but when I hit the stage it was like somebody threw gravel under my skateboard. Ack. I know that if I was smoother in my delivery, I would have gotten a lot more laughs, as the crowd was very ready to laugh.
Even though I had briefly considered suicide (kidding), within an hour my mood had elevated and I felt a real high. Despite the setback, I still got a terrific rush from getting up there and doing as well as I did. Fuck it, I met some cool new people (including Jimmy Turner, Spirit Walker and Bob Johnston), got some laughs.
I wish I could have stayed later, but the late night and early morning intimidated me. What sleep I did get didn't feel like enough, so it's probably best I left when I did.
A good night overall, but I regret it wasn't the great night it should have been.
January 30th 10:12AM
Iraqis vote like they want it
I had been hoping for the best and bracing for the worst for Iraqi elections today. It looks like the better end of the spectrum won out, with early reports of high turnout and less-than-widespread violence.
I like the way Sabah Kadim, a senior adviser in Iraq's Interior Ministry, put it:
"We have [terrorists] today, we had them yesterday, we will have them tomorrow," he said. "The difference will be that the Iraqi people have elected a government that is legitimate that will be much stronger in dealing with them."
That's a good way to look at it.
Vallejo - Navajo for "Ho of the Valley"
I'm in Vallejo this evening to work at Mira's theater. It looks like a hell of a drive, but hey, that's where the fun is, right?
I hate long drives to places I've never been before.
But I am looking forward to getting there, and doing the show!
January 29th 9:02AM
The Head That Ate Cleveland
or
"Heed! Move!"
My son had a doctor visit yesterday, and we learned some valuable statistical information. They compare weight, height and other statistical data in percentiles, like they do with grades in school.
The circumference of my son's head is in the one hundredth percentile, which I gather to mean that if you lined up a hundred babies his age, he would have the most gigantic noggin of them all.
To be fair, his body is in the high percentiles too, so he's fairly proportionate. Freakishly large, maybe, but not freak show large.
January 27th 7:49AM
Urge to kill... rising...
I've been feeling kind of down and disgusted lately, and so I made a specific effort to be positive this morning. I even spoke with Joe S., the guy I mentioned in last night's post, about it. I am trying to take an approach along the lines that if I change my outlook, I'll change my environment.
I come in to work after a regularly scheduled meeting, to find voicemail left from yesterday afternoon, which is a big no-no, and things just in general disarray; just the kinds of things that irritate me. God is not about to make this positive outlook thing easy to come by, I can tell you that.
January 26th 8:09PM
Mira on the calendar
I have been invited (makes a fella feel special) to do a humble five minutes at Mira's Theater in Vallejo this Sunday. I jumped at the chance, although I've never driven to Vallejo. Spirit Walker rocks! Thanks, man!
I need to get some material assembled and rehearsed. Awesome!
Joe Silva is an inspiration
My BNI Chapter in Lodi has a Kamp's propane salesman named Joe Silva. This guy is positive, can-do and balls-out a great guy to be around. I wish I was more like him. Cynicism is so much a part of me, but Joe demonstrates the extent to which a positive attitude can be taken, and how much fun life can be.
I'd tell him what a great guy he is, but I'd feel like such a kiss-ass.
January 24th 12:49PM
Greg's return
My buddy and officemate Greg has returned from his two-week vacation, with stories to tell. I expect things will be a little more exciting, now that he's back. One can only hope.
Weekend blah's
This past weekend was kind of a grinder. Wife had to work half of it, and the whole weekend just kinda wore on me. Ah well, we can't have the highs without some interim lows. As lows go, this wasn't so bad.
Lazy
I didn't exercise at all last week - I need to get back on the horse.
January 20th 12:49PM
More slow progress
I forgot to mention: a few days ago I weighed in at 232 pounds, down a few from 235 last week. I'll take it, for now. I've been trying to behave mo' betta, and it appears to help.
Paris, closer all the time
Per Expedia, a SF to CDG flight to Paris = $408.
Hotel + airfare w/ 2 adults and one lap-sized infant = as low as $722 per adult. Mmmm... A Valentine's Day gift for me??
January 20th 12:45PM
Second open mike
I went up for my second open mike last night, and it was great. I could sum it up in two words: people laughed.
This is different from my first open mike. I don't know if it was nerves or if I just didn't get any laughs on my first open mike, but I don't remember hearing laughter. Maybe I just bombed. I took it pretty easy on my self-assessment for the night, understanding that it's tough for mere mortals to subject themselves to it in the first place.
But last night, people laughed. Oh, it was so ... nice. It was a relief, it was an acknowledgment, it was encouragement, it was a thrill! I was looser in my presentation than I was at my virgin attempt, something I had intended to improve on, so I'm glad for what progress I made.
Another improvement was that I was able to videotape my set (or, my wife videotaped it, for which I am grateful). It's a good thing, too, because I forgot to switch on my damned cheesy minicassette recorder again! I haven't had a chance to review the videotape yet, but I am looking forward to it. If any of it is the least bit useful, I will post clips here on my website.
I didn't kill, slay, crush, destroy, or any other vicious descriptions of whopping success. I made the rookie mistake of stepping on some of the laughs I did get, not waiting for laughter (they laughed!!) to die down before continuing on. To be honest, I wasn't prepared for people to actually laugh. Throughout all my rehearsals, alone, in my car, garage, wherever, one bit led into another and the timing was sort of fixed. I honestly tried to pause when people laughed, but I am told by an observer that I didn't quite get that right.
I took Michelle along. I am glad she went - we shared the experience, and she was supportive, helpful and fairly tipsy by the time we left, God love 'er. It wouldn't have been the same without her.
Networking - that went well, too. There none of the familiar faces from last time. I was hoping Sean Peabody would have been there; he was friendly and helpful last time, but he didn't make it. I did meet a very bright Lodian named Yusef Kamakeeaina (I hope I got his name right, I stole it from Spirit Walker's Mira Comics page). This guy is funny, and has excellent stage presence. After the show, I bumped into him in the parking lot, and he told me a little bit about his approach to comedy, and how busy he's been. He really exhibited professionalism and stood out. I hope to give him a call to see if I can help him with any projects he has going.
Also, one of the audience members let me know that Manteca's Strike Zone will be hosting open mike nights soon. I need to call them up, and see what's shaking over there. A local open mike would just fine with me, although the Fat Cat continues to be a very good experience too.
January 18th 12:49PM
Out with the old
I deleted the Opinion articles I wrote long ago, on the war in Iraq, and the Calvin decal. Way outdated, and I haven't kept them up. I need some new stuff around here...
Also, I made a 3D animation and popped it into the right column over there.
January 18th 7:49AM
Holy shit, somebody actually reads this thing
I wrote to Spirit Walker to let him know I dig his blog, and asked him for advice on presentation. My second open mike is tomorrow, and I'm a little jumpy about it. SW was very generous with his advice. Thanks, man!
He also mentioned he checks on my blog now and then. I'm still flattered when somebody tells me they read this thing more than once. Cool!
Open mike, Fat Cat
Did I mention I'll be going up tomorrow night at the Fat Cat in Modesto? Yah. Unlike last time, I don't have my set list all prepped, days in advance. I need to firm it up and rehearse before I go, and time is a-wastin'. This is both good and bad. Last time, I rehearsed it until all newness was bleached out of the routine (bad), but I remembered the whole thing (good). It'll be interesting to see how I do. Wish me luck.
January 14th 7:49AM
Better today
Angst turned to optimism over the past few days, following continued communication. There may yet be hope and room for everybody to get what they want. Whew.
All Dunn, Dunn In, Stick a Fork in Him, He's Dunn
Baxter Dunn pleaded guilty, and will perch upon a stool and chirp and sing about his crony Monte McFall. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
January 13th 7:49AM
Fucking liar
Sheriff Baxter Dunn plead guilty today to a federal fraud charge, and will resign/retire/slink away shamefully with his full pension intact. Dunn was quoted as saying: "I have always accepted responsibility for my conduct in office, and this is no exception." Oh, except for February of 2004, when he said: "It's just politics, plain and simple." Oh, and except for January of 2004, when he insisted he's innocent. Yeah, he's big on taking full responsibility for his actions, when they've got testimony against him and got him dead to rights, he's real big on owning up to it. Dirtbag.
San Joaquin county's quickly running out of heroes. We've got a judge dumped off the bench and onto his ass for fixing buddies' tickets and wink-nudge selling his kids fund-raiser goodies to those who appear in his court room, and now a whole slough of alleged civil servants are paddling up the river, including Lynn Bedford, former county supervisor, the aforementioned Deal-Me-the-Dough-Dunn, and N. Allen Sawyer - former head of the state Office of Criminal Justice Planning under Gov. Gray Davis.
Bedford is apparently going to stop swimming against the current and begin to cooperate with the investigation. I wonder how long until his buddy Monte McFall flips, too?
With stand-up guys like these, who needs the Mafia?
January 12th 7:49AM
Nice talking to you
I had a nice long discussion last night that went absolutely nowhere. It looks as though spending one night a week doing stand-up comedy is not compatible with my current wifestyle - er, lifestyle. One evening a week is too much to ask.
I don't know what to say or do about it. I'm in neutral right now over it, and am currently trying to find the right gear. Stand-up is not my life's ambition, but then neither is anything else. I need to find something that I can apply myself to, something that gives back what I put into it. Apparently, unless it's diapers and pre-recorded television, it's off the menu.
What a beautiful, warm cage I live in...
January 11th 7:49AM
Life goes on
My coworker Greg (see "Greggo" below) is now in the Philippines visiting in-laws he didn't know he had, and hopefully having a great time. I advised him to keep a trip diary - it'll be interesting to see if he does.
Brent Helm still rocks
I had a great teacher, mentioned years ago in this blog, named Brent Helm. I stumbled across his AOL email address today, and fired off a letter to him, thanking him for not being a dick, and being a good teacher. I hope he gets it.
Exercise, French on the upswing
Over the course of last week, I have studied more French than usual, and have been trying to get some exercise. I have no larger plan for my life, but these steps can't do any harm.
What's so funny?
I've been to comedy shows and thought: "I can do better than that." Ach, this is a curse that is coming to fruition. Now that it's time to actually do so, I am learning just why it is not so easy as it looks. I still think I can do better than some I've seen, but not as easily as I had once thought.
I should try harder, and persist.
January 9th 12:49PM
We were going to name him "Matt" anyway
Over the past few weeks, my son has developed his motor skills, learning to command his limbs and neck and head. This newfound power has manifested itself by him fighting to fling his bottle onto the floor, and grabbing and flinging his burp cloth onto the floor. While I rejoice in the improvement in his nervous system, I resist the inclination towards flinging my son on the floor, to join his fallen comrades.
January 6th 12:49PM
Greggo The Clown
I have been teaching my coworker, Greg, how to juggle. He has taken to it well, and has improved very quickly. Now, to teach him to fart with his hands, sleep with thick women, and drink too much beer.
My madness spreads like a horrible, ridiculous disease.
January 5th 7:49AM
Paris Live Radio
Paris's first English-language radio station is available on the Internet, and will launch an AM radio station in Paris later this month. Read more about it, if you want to.
January 4th 7:49.3AM
Boobies for Christmas, or
"Unwrap THESE!"
Women's groups are trying to generate some righteous indignation over a radio show's contest in which breast enlargements are the prize. 13 women were awarded shiny new knockers.
Quoted from CNN: "I try not to be judgmental about whether a large radio station should be giving away free toys to children instead of free breast augmentation," said Diana Zuckerman, president of the National Research Center for Women & Families, a health advocacy organization.
Thanks a lot, Diana, you meddling nag, for "trying not to be judgmental." I'm sure she tries very hard; what a struggle it must be.
Diana should mind her own damn business. "Toys for children," really! I'm sure there are other people to whom she'd like to dictate how they spend their money, since Diana sounds like a real nattering old biddy, shaking her finger at people who don't 'behave properly.'
Well lemme ask you this, Grandma: What about toys for adults, hah?! For those 13 female winners, there were at least another 13 men who were equally fortunate. Why make one kid happy with one gift, when you can delight at least two people with two? It's simple mathematics. Now I know what witches do between Halloweens.
January 4th 7:49AM
Happy New Year
It's a new year, and things are moving along.
I am disgusted with myself for not writing a more enjoyable, interesting blog. I used to write such sharp, sardonic stuff, and now this blog's heartbeat has mellowed and gone stale. I need passion. I mean, this blog, it needs passion. That's what I meant.
Atkielski came back-ski
The Paris Journal is back in its stutteringly updated glory. Good to see Anthony is still pumping out some content now & then.
Paris on my mind
I got in a very little study period for my French this week, mostly reading while I pushed my son in his stroller. It was good, confirming my need to study more.
I priced a Paris trip w/ hotel, from 1/26 to 2/9/05. Just at a grand per person.
Holding steady
For all my holiday excesses, I still weigh in at 235. My body seems to like that weight. Meh.
I have been trying to lay off the sweets for a few days now, and to get a little exercise now & then. It may or may not help, but it probably can't hurt.