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August 31st 7:49AM

A walk on the not-very-wild side

I took a pretty nice walk through town last night, my first in a while. It felt pretty good, and I snapped a few snapshots of my old elementary school for sending to my penpal. I should walk more often. And I may.

August 30th 12:49PM

Bizarre is back

The Mighty John Bizarre returns to Pepper Bellys on September 10th & 11th! Although he talked about giving up the comedy gigs at the beginning of this year, and shitcanned his website at about the same time, it appears that Mr. Bizarre is still out there doin' it. I kinda already knew that, as I have been semi-cyber-stalking him via Google over the last year, just to see if he's still out there. I miss his website, and his performance. I may try to talk my wife into going to see his show again. It may be a tough sell, as the material may or not be the same as when we saw him two years ago. Also, I am likely to be having a "procedure" on that day, and bed rest is called for. But the more I think about it, the more I'd like to go...

Beyond that, we had a great time at PepperBellys when we went. If you're looking for entertainment, give them a shot. They rock.

August 30th 7:49AM

Muslim leader actually leads

I love it, partly because it seems so rare. A Muslim leader in France has denounced the taking of French hostages as "odious blackmail." Good for him. It is my opinion that much of the problems with Muslim extremists are exacerbated by the abject lack of opposition and outrage among the allegedly moderate, alleged majority of Muslims. "Dalil Boubakeur" is the head of the French Council of the French Muslim community ("Boubakeur" sounds like a good southern name, like "Brubaker"), and at the very least, laid out the proper lip service. This may be prompted in part by the fact that if your Imam gets a little too radical in France, they will deport his derriere tout de suite.

The silence has been deafening, as they say. I hope Boubakeur's stance is echoed everywhere. Politics is meant to be boring and quiet, not bloody and brutal. I hope the ban on head scarves (and any other religious symbols) in French public schools stays in place, not only because it's the correct policy, but because if it is eventually defeated, this cannot be the way. Terrorism as a political tool cannot be allowed to succeed.

August 29th 3:15AM

Jesus, what a news day

From Russia With Hate

French reporters kidnapped in Iraq

The extremists in Iraq wants to change French public school policy by kidnapping and killing French journalists. The extremists in Russia want to kill almost everybody, just for the sake of having them dead. The obvious solution, at 3am in the morning? Kill those damned extremists.

Ironic? Sick? Hell, I dunno, but I'm getting pretty damned fed up with killers, terrorists and people who refuse to get along. What fucking year is it, anyway, where people still hate each other for imaginary slights and threats, for their lineage and skin color? Is it just a shortcut born of ignorance, where people choose to hate what they can't understand? "Uh, I'm pissed off because I can't get a job and the economy is in the toilet. I could get involved in the political process, or learn about economics to address the situation, or ... oh the Hell with it - kill the Jews! Kill the Jews!"

Jesus, man, the fucking Jews aren't out to get you, they don't want to bang your wife, and they aren't going take your property. They might mark up some day old bread at a deli somewhere, but I'm pretty sure that's about it. Knock it off.

Besides, there are so many legitimate reasons to hate people. At least pick a real threat, like us Americans do. Like Saddam Hussein, he was a real threat, and he . . . sorry, what? He wasn't? Well, we thought he was, didn't we? Um, I thought he was. Aw, well shit.

Great. Now I'm worried that having "kill the Jews" written above is going to bring in the wrong kind of element to my blog. Oh well, maybe this well-crafted post will be just the catalyst some neo-skinhead needs to turn his belief system around.

Yeah, right.

Being up at three in the morning makes me want to write the F-word in my blog

I'm up early because last night's infant frat party threw off my sleep schedule, and once junior had me up again this morning, I couldn't get back to sleep.

Now that I think about it, my sleep schedule's about 9 hours off. Just like the time difference between here and Paris... If I just hopped on a plane right now, I wouldn't even have jet lag. Hey, no transition! Gotta pack...

August 28th 8:15AM

Working on the night moves

I took over the night shift for my wife, as part of her birthday wishlist. The little nibbler kept me up half the night! Ach! How can I be brilliant on 60% sleep? I'll find a way.

At about 5:30 this morning, we both gave out. He spent about an hour and a half snoozing on the chest of his own snoozing father in the recliner. For all the interrupted sleep and impatience I sometimes feel, this was a uniquely and thoroughly placid and enjoyable stretch of time. One of those "wow" moments. Way cool.

Hit the weekend runnin'

It's looking busy this weekend. I plan to write my daughter, write my penpal, shoot some shit with my dad about a web project, attend a toddler's birthday party, plus all my regular weekend chores. Makes me tired just thinking about it.

Wasted time

I am disgusted at myself for not using my evenings more wisely. During the years (and years) I went to night school, I reflected on all the use I could get out of my time after work, if only I weren't trapped in class; studying my own interests, cleaning/fixing up the house, improving life in general. Now it is usually spent vegging in front of the television.

I don't regret the time that might seem unused at first glance: talking with my wife, helping out with Brian, actively recreating, sipping a brewski. While those aren't what I fantasized about during my hours in the halls of education, they are time well spent, and purposeful. Nah, I just regret the aimless tele-zombie-ism mostly.

On the plus side, I have been reading more, and I'm digging it. I finished one very short book on French culture, and am plowing into two not-so-short others. It's progress...

August 27th 7:49AM

Happy Birthday!

It's my wife's birthday today. Let's make it a good one!

From the "cool, but gross" file

Doctors grow new jaw in man's back

A German who had his lower jaw cut out because of cancer has enjoyed his first meal in nine years -- a bratwurst sandwich -- after surgeons grew a new jaw bone in his back muscle and transplanted it to his mouth in what experts call an "ambitious'' experiment.

According to this week's issue of The Lancet medical journal, the German doctors used a mesh cage, a growth chemical and the patient's own bone marrow, containing stem cells, to create a new jaw bone that fit exactly into the gap left by the cancer surgery.

Reading the extent of the story, it is reported that the patient could only "slurp soft food or soup from a spoon," and demanded reconstruction. His misery from this condition was so great, he was "sick of living." Good for him, I hope his suffering is eased.

August 26th 12:25PM

We could totally do this

Ten-day, round-trip flight to Paris, $452 apiece. Hotel included, $657 apiece. I just like to dream, even if we don't go. The cheapskate in me enjoys keeping an eye on the lowest fares. But if you can do it, and have the slightest inclination, go. Send me a postcard, then tell me all about it when you get back.

Andrew Phelps hits the mark dead on

Mr. Phelps posts opinions on the media that mirror my own. He's too cool for daylight.

August 25th 7:49AM

idontlovemypitbullsomuchanymore.com

My wife chose to allow her domain name, ilovemypitbull.com, to lapse a few weeks ago. It's too bad. I think there for a while she really enjoyed having it. Ah well...

August 24th 7:49AM

My boy is pretty cute

I've been playing with my son. He's pretty damned cute. He likes to eat, then when he's full, makes lots of faces - smiles, twitches, and some truly questionable expressions. I think he's dreaming at that point.

Sometimes he sleeps with his eyes open, or they pop open during his sleep, and his eyes roll around in quite gruesome fashion. Creepy. Still cute though.

Imperceptible progress

Every time I feel pretty good about my comprehension with the French language, I skip on over to a French online newspaper like Le Monde, and am reminded of how far I have to go yet. Then again, I do comprehend a significant portion of things there, so it isn't all bad. Still, I am flummoxed by the tidal wave of incomprehensible verbiage. Much like that last sentence. I feel like an inchworm on his way to the other side of the world..

August 22nd 5:15PM

I'm glad they got this guy back

And it's not just because he's French-American. What can I tell you? The link above leads to a story that is more about the shrine under siege than the reporter (and his translator) that they got back.

Apparently, he's a French citizen and carries a U.S. Passport. In thanking those who worked to secure his release, he mentioned he's "grateful to the Sadr people." A very puzzling statement for me, a guy who sees Good Guys and Bad Guys in this mess. Grateful to Sadr's people? Grateful they didn't cut his head off for a video camera, I suppose. I guess I'd be grateful too, even to a pack of wolves. Still, it strikes me as weird...

Idle musings

It occurs to me to wonder what I could do to make this site more of a gathering place for people and ideas. So few people I know think in terms of openness and realize, much less embrace, the diversity of viewpoints out there. Hell, I think I'm one of them.

A while back I threatened to make a "Manteca" website, kind of like the nicely-conceived-but-poorly-implemented ilovemanteca.com. That fizzled, as time and energy spiked and plummeted. I am also tempted, equally as idlely, (what, it's a word!) to go find some bulletin board PHP software, and invite francophones to blither and blather on whatever subjects, just to hear what's out there, and even how it's said. I wonder what's involved in getting a ".fr" domain pointer? I may find out. Then again, it would be much easier to look at the myriad francophone boards already out there. Ach, I am a paragon of indecision. I suck. Maybe I'll just go do something useful like study my French.

August 22nd 8:29AM

Yesterday was huge

I took my daughter to the airport yesterday, for her trip home. It was much easier on both of us than the two, twelve-hour drives for the handoff in Nevada. It was her first real plane ride, and I hope she enjoyed it.

While at the Sacramento Airport, I considered putting a ticket to France on my credit card and stealing away. If I didn't have this damned sense of responsibility, I'd be drinking French wine and juggling for dimes on the Champs-Élysées right now.

It didn't take me long to long for Paris, did it? It is the Kevin Bacon of my mind, never more than a few degrees from any one subject. My trip there last October has ruined me for life, and I love it.

And I shall call them "Frenchiladas"

And so I brought a little France home with me. I spent a few hours in the kitchen amateurishly assembling a recipe from my French cookbook "Foolproof French Cooking by Raymond Blanc." The recipe is: "baked pancakes with spinach, mushrooms and Gruyère." Basically speaking, you sauté some spinach and mushrooms, grate some cheese, and roll that mixture into 10 paper-thin pancakes. Grate some Gruyère cheese over the top, and bake for 20 minutes.

We had that, some duck, filet mignon, and red wine. Man, I felt like I owned the planet. What a great meal.

Unrelated thought

When my dad saw "A Few Good Men," a movie where Jack Nicholson plays a general who ordered the death of a poorly performing Marine as a warning to the others at his base, he thought the Nicholson character got a total bad rap.

August 20th 7:49AM

Bye bye, love

My daughter goes home tomorrow.

Working it out

I lifted some weights last night, for the first time in a long time. I had taken a hiatus for weeks, since my son was born. Life was pretty hectic then, and it's not good to work out if you're not going to sleep real regular afterwards. My son reminded me of this by waking me up at 3:30am today for a nice, long, leisurely meal, and then urinated all over his clothes. Oh, we had a ball.

August 19th 7:49AM

BNI meeting went well

We had our scheduled meeting this morning, and it went well. I had a brief presentation to give, and it went well. We were fortunate to have John Lisle, the Regional Executive Director, visit our chapter. He's a great speaker, and always adds energy to the meeting.

Good stuff.

August 18th 7:49AM

BNI boondoggle

I had a BNI "dance card" meeting yesterday with one of my chapter members, a meeting that is supposed to be an opportunity for each of us to educate the other about our businesses, and who would make a good referral for the other. My meeting partner is an Energy Therapy Practitioner, a person who believes that we are all energy beings, and that fears, phobias, pains and traumas can all be alleviated or even cured, by chanting and tapping pressure points on the body.

I had hoped we would sit down and discuss the business aspects of our services, and better understand each other's services. I was secretly afraid though, that my meeting buddy would enlist me in a session of her services. While I fully intend to vigilantly watch for referrals for this person, I don't consider myself the type of person who would use them.

I visited her place of business, and inside of five minutes, I was in a recliner with my feet up, covered with a blanket, and I think some kind of incense was smoldering in the background. Not exactly a hard core marketing strategy affair.

Damn. My fear had come to pass.

Oh, but fears are just what the not-a-doctor ordered. My energy guide compelled me to dig up a fear, a phobia, any concern at all, so that we could alleviate it. I came up with a reasonable concern anybody with two left feet would have: the fear of climbing a ladder onto a roof, and tumbling off onto bare concrete. Bang, we're off and running. I'm tapping pressure points on my hand, the top of my head, my face, my chest and the side of my torso, and chanting "I love and accept myself..."

This was a true test of my patience and of my respect for my BNI member, not to mention my elders and people in general. As a BNI member, it has been demonstrated that a positive attitude is important, and I felt the need to go along with this activity so as to placate my meeting host, not hurt her feelings, and not deep-six relations with someone who I'll be meeting with once a week for the interminable future. While I did not roll my eyes any more than I could control, and did not quit the whole operation altogether and declare it a waste of my time, I did remember that my BNI buddy had declared that she is very in tune with energies, those of people and of the universe. So while dutifully performing the tapping and chanting, I stared straight into her eyes, and clearly projected thoughts like: "This is total bullshit. I wish I could get up and leave. I'm not going for this at all. I'm not buying it. I am very uncomfortable." If she was picking up that transmission, she sure didn't let on.

As I say, I try to be positive, patient, and respectful. I firmly resisted the inclination to fake a major psychological breakthrough, allege severe childhood molestation, and run shrieking and crying from the room in a dramatic display of the power of energy shifting. I didn't fake a faith healing of some old ailment, and then laugh in her face. This wasn't easy for me, as I am a cynical smartass at heart.

After the first round of touching myself and vocalization, I reported no improvement. From my partner's body language, I quickly understood that if I didn't fake achieve progress, my "therapist" would either keep me there all afternoon, or it would abrade my partner's sensitivities. So the next round my anxiety threshold (which I had honestly and stupidly measured at a 7 of a possible 10) about this prospective event quickly dwindled to an eventual zero. I should have picked a '3', and we could've wrapped up that much sooner.

I told her at the 1:00 p.m. get-go that I had about an hour for our whole dance card meeting. We used up about 61 minutes on this exercise, until her 2 o'clock appointment arrived, and not a single word was spoken about the products and services my company offers. Not a damned syllable. So not only did I spend the entire time placating this person performing this psychic masturbation that made me feel utterly ridiculous, I didn't even get a small piece of what I came for. I returned to work feeling like a total whore, used and discarded. I really didn't like the feeling. Maybe if I schedule an energy therapy session with her, I can alleviate the psychological trauma of the experience. Not likely.

Now, in fairness, as I walked out the door, my partner offered to set another meeting so we could address my business. I am still miffed about it, as I already spend generous amounts of time on BNI pursuits, and a dance card is not meant to be two lengthy meetings, but one fairly brief one. Also, I was hesitant to post this rant, as my BNI partner, aside from this intrusion into my personal life and business time, is a nice person. My mother didn't raise me to be a total dick, and I would not want her to see this and be hurt. I would also not want someone to think I will not pursue referrals for her, as is our chapter's whole purpose. However, the fact is that I had to get the taste of this experience out of my mouth, and that's just what this blog is for. If someone doesn't appreciate it, that's just too bad. If I can't vent here, then screw it.

Additionally, I hope that this entry will serve as a reminder for the next time I'm in a similar position (and my BNI chapter has another eager member who practices similar self-awareness endeavors, so this is a real possibility); that I will have a stronger will to be respectful but firm in avoiding the practice of undesired services of a chapter member, and directing our time towards discussing them.

August 17th 7:49AM

"I feel thin... sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread." - Bilbo, Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

The days are running together like thin paints. I am tired from interrupted sleep cycles, but it's not so bad. I'm hanging in there.

My son is a vampire, without need for sleep. My shift with him last night was much more pleasant and comfortable than the previous one, but would not end - he refused to go back to sleep and something was obviously bothering him. After I changed and fed and tried to burp him, he complained and cried and shifted, finally barfing significantly. I pussed out, and went to sleep in the living room, handing the duties off to my wife. I try to be the Rock in the relationship, but last night, I had to let it go, and hand her the honor.

It's almost over

My daughter goes back home on Saturday.

I'm enjoying my book

My wife bought me this book, "Sixty Million Frenchmen Can't Be Wrong" for my birthday (or my graduation? They were so close together and my mind is so weak). It offers cultural insight into French society. I have been reading it and enjoying it thoroughly.

August 16th 7:49AM

Egads, what a night

I didn't think I was going to make it. Typically, getting out of bed to feed my progeny is difficult, but once I'm up, it's bearable. Last night was ugly.

Everything was harder than usual. My squat spat, where I lean semiconscious to feed my boy, was even less comfortable than usual. My boy was crankier and squirmier than usual. My mood was beyond irritable, hovering in an area of psychological turmoil somewhere between Road Rage and Drunken Lout. When my loving wife offered to help me, I wanted to punch her in the ass, God bless her.

Finally, I got the job done and made it through the night. Sheesh. I gotta start mixing Vicodin or whiskey or Nyquil into Brian's formula. Or mine.

August 15th 5:48PM

That didn't take long

We went to what used to be the Refuge Café today. Apparently the remodeling I saw a week or so ago was the work of the new owner. The Refuge is now the Manteca Coffee Company, or something like that. The inside is looking pretty good, although it's still under construction. I do think they're using the space less wisely (the counter area takes up about twice as much room as it did before the changes). It may turn out to be brilliant, who knows? I hope it works out. This city could use some decent leisure areas. God knows I need a quiet place to go now and then. Best of luck to the new owner.

August 14th 3:58PM

Squisito

We just got back from one of the best meals out I've had in years. We went to the DeVega Bros. Italian restaurant. The food - excellent. The service - outstanding. The prices - not cheap, but bearable, and well worth it.

Damn that was good. I recommend it, if you're in Manteca. Finally, a decent place to eat around this dump. OK, The Brickyard isn't bad, but we've had our difficulties there. You must visit DeVega Bros (they don't have a website that I know of, or I'd link it). I haven't eaten out this well or been treated so well in months, maybe years. Excellent.

August 14th 3:58PM

In your face, Bill O'Reilly

While Bill O'Reilly has his reasons for calling long & loud for a boycott against France, and has predicted dire financial pain for therefrom, it appears it's not entirely successful. The No Spin truth - CNN reports that the French economy continues to surprise, where:

Obviously I am not part of the boycott, and have affection for the French and their culture. While I am also unhappy with the rift over Iraq, I don't think the issue is black and white, "us vs. them." It's a mess, but it is oversimplification to point the finger at the French and leave it at that. Then again, I don't imagine that all their reasons for not backing our move were pure. That's politics, that's life. We all do what we must. I wish we could focus more on our similarities, and less on our differences.

August 13th 7:49AM

Movie clips in my brain

Every day I'm confronted with situations that remind me of short pieces of movies I've seen over the years, like:

"... Just answer the fookin' question!" - Stephen, the Irish Fighter from "Braveheart"

"More drah-muh" - Miles Roberts, the bald, drunk criminal from "Ransom"

... and others. It's not only Mel Gibson movies in my head, but these are two examples that come to mind.

I am tempted to digitize these brief clips for demonstrative purposes, but that may be more trouble than it's worth, and irritate movie-industry lawyers. I note it here because I have been known to vocally reproduce these moments in conversation, to the puzzlement of those around me who do not recognize these cultural tidbits. This perpetuates the notion that I am creepy and insane. Meh, whatta ya gonna do...?

August 12th 12:49PM

Refuge Café

Manteca has a new(ish) café, the Refuge Café. Their site has a neat little look to it, but is woefully lacking in content. They should let me help them develop it. I went by there last Sunday for a visit, but they were being remodeled. I believe it's done by now. What great information to post - you know - on a website?!

Speaking of woefully undeveloped, Greg C. is allegedly going to put more content of value at his website. I'll believe it when I see it. Slacker!

August 10th 7:35PM

Cool evening breeze

Last night I went to pick up my wife from her hospital stay. It was just after dusk and the summer evening air was cool. I rolled down the windows and turned up the music. It reminded me of when I was a teenager, and how free I felt.

Anymore, I can barely convince myself to stay up late, I don't smoke, I'm fat as a hog, and I've got more money than I care to worry about. How I've changed. I like to think I haven't, but I have.

August 10th 7:49AM

Patched up, sent home

My wife had her gallbladder out yesterday, and after much confusion and irritation, they made good on their promise to send her home the same day (night, actually). They also presented her with her own canister of about 2 dozen bilious shotgun pellets, which were the stones themselves that gave her the pain and trouble. A ghoulish souvenir.

My wife is sore but in good shape and spirits. She's pretty tough.

August 8th 3:05PM

Domestic issues

Welp, I got through a few blips of French, so that was good. Not nearly enough, but more than recently.

My brother (who lives across the street from me, for those not in the know) used to have a live-in girlfriend who kept the place from looking too much like a crackhouse. Now she's gone, and so is her influence. Now, someone's graffiti'd the trunks of the trees in his yard with spray paint, nearly completing the Lebanese refugee look his exterior has been gunning for. I'd snap a photo for the blog, but it looks so bad at this point that it would feel like kicking him when he's down, and I wouldn't feel right about it. Take my word for it, it looks like shit.

My brother has been living poorly for years now, and my compassion is turning to disgust. He has lost his job since his car broke down, and he refuses to apply effort to his home. We are drifting farther apart, and I identify less with him than ever. We only speak when he's in a jam, and even then not that much. I don't know what I can do for him.

August 7th 9:38AM

Yeesh, what a night.

During the whole drive home yesterday, I promised myself I'd devote some time to my French book, and/or my guitar. I broke my promise.

The good news is my wife made me some of the best fish I've had in years, and we watched the film "Cold Mountain." We stayed up until midnight.

My boy woke me up at 4am, and fidgeted until 6:00. I didn't think he was ever gonna let me go back to sleep. He's still awful cute.

August 5th 7:49AM

Phoning this one in

That's just an expression; I'm not on the phone, I just don't have much to say. Then again, some of my better posts started off wandering.

Here's an opinion - Bill O'Reilly's articles are as boring as hell. This week's article bitches about marijuana use, its rise since the good ol' days, and the damage it does. Half of it is statistics. O'Reilly has a reputation for being some kind of rabble-rouser, it's part of his appeal, but lately, no rabble has been roused, in my opinion. What a snoozer. Talk about phoning it in...

Paris is experiencing a heat wave and pollution-exacerbating stagnant air reminiscent of last year's senior-killing summer terror. Anthony Atkielski blogs about it, describing it as "a nightmare." It's too bad, Paris is such a fond memory for me.

BNI today

My BNI meeting was OK today. We are slowly and steadily improving on many of the details the need improving, I'm glad to see it.

After restaurant we used to meet at took a shit on us, one of our members kindly volunteered his condo rec room. We're lucky to have it, and it's very handy and cozy, but I don't think it would reflect professionally upon any new visitors thinking of joining, and visitors are becoming a big sticking point within my chapter. We need a commercial establishment in which to meet, and we need one soon. I've left a voicemail offering to help shop around for one, if my help can be useful. We'll see.

August 2nd 7:49AM

Now that's cool... and creepy

"Stop, or I'll ... hey, lookit that, he stopped."

There's never a shortage of movies with 4-star generals striding aggressively through laboratories, leaning on geeks who are either reluctantly or sinisterly developing new technologies for military applications.

Here's a news story that proves it's not just a Hollywood cliché. Using "directed-energy weapons," those who wield the weapons of the future could disable attackers from long distances with a stun-gun-type beam without permanent harm, heat the water molecules in enemies' skin causing behavior-modifying (read: "stop shooting at me") pain, and ruin the electronics of missiles, bombs and vehicles. These weapons are being imagined for uses from strapping them the 747's, humvees, down to a "rifle-sized directed-energy gun for the Marines." Way cool.

There's a chance that heart attacks and/or other, more unusual injuries may occur, and these weapons are still being examined, but non-lethal weapons are better than bullets and bombs, in many cases. As the story notes, hostage situations and angry mobs make specifically opportune applications for stuff like this.

August 1st 9:05AM

"Results matter?"

Watching a Sunday morning political show, I am amazed that President Bush's counter-punch to the Democrats' post-convention lift is the phrase: "results matter." This is what he's hanging his 10-gallon hat on? Yikes. Iraq is still being bombed every other day in a terrorist free-for-all, many of our traditional allies are giving us the finger... The Republicans might want to find a different touchstone. They have a lot of good points to make, but this "hook" is disturbing.

August 1st 8:25AM

Anus jerky

Every now & then, I wise up and buy healthy snacks, dehydrated fruit. Dried nectarines are a favorite, but I joyfully refer to them as Anus Jerky, because they resemble what I think it would look and smell like if you had gotten hold of a pig or other meat-bearin' critter, and jerked his butthole.

Visually, the resemblance is obvious - the middle portion where the pit was removed truly looks like an orifice. And the smell! I've done a blind smell test with multiple test subjects on perfectly fresh bags of dried nectarines, and the result is unanimous - the smeller wrinkles up his/her nose, gives me an exceptionally dirty look out of one watery eye, and briskly declines a slice of my healthful snack.

I love 'em.

August 1st 8:02AM

Feed, change, sleep

My wife has been an absolute trooper since the baby was born, watching over him during the nights so I barely had to lift a finger when the sun wasn't shining. Plus, she's been pretty productive during the day, so much so that I've had to ask her to to slow down a number of times, lest she burn out.

She's never complained, but last night she started showing signs of wear, so I took over the night shift. She felt weird about it, but I insisted, and she gave in. For the first feeding, I got the feeling she didn't trust me to be fully competent; this would be an accurate assessment, as I have not had enough practice, and I don't know where all the paraphernalia is, etc. She finally let go and went to sleep, which was the whole point.

During the night, I got up about every two hours. My game got tighter every time, as I got more proficient doing things with one hand where I'd earlier struggled with two; changing diapers and feeding like a Ford employee, on assembly line.

By the end of the night, getting up for a feeding was like getting up after a beating - my body sincerely tried to convince me that what I was doing couldn't possibly be the right thing - but that passed quickly, and God took pity on me by not handing me a sack of warm pudding during this shift. Thanks, Lord.

Toys in the Attic

I dreamed odd dreams last night. One in particular was strange. I dreamed a skit comedy with Jamie Foxx and Tommy Davidson. The details of this reverential production would only confirm my desperately and barely concealed lunacy, the strangeness of which compounded by the fact that it was a dream, and is that much farther removed from reality. Suffice it to say, I woke up giggling, and my subconscious is a bizarre and funny place. Nobody who knows me doubts this.